ANIMAL CROSSING (Honest Game Trailers)

ANIMAL CROSSING (Honest Game Trailers)

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The following trailer is rated “H” for “Honest”. From the company that will
literally sell you cardboard, comes a franchise so colorful and
wholesome that you didn’t even realize it was tricking you into
thinking menial labor was fun– Animal Crossing. Step in to the idyllic township
of Animal Crossing and become the only living human
in a world of anthropomorphic animals where you’ll carve out a slice
of the quiet life for yourself by picking fruit, by picking fruit, making friends, by picking fruit, making friends,
and just generally being a nice person. In one of the rare video games that doesn’t rely
on your ability to kill everything that moves, unless Blathers snaps
and goes on a murder spree. This guy’s definitely hiding something… Live the quiet, simple life,
Animal Crossing style, where you grab everything you can get
your greedy, orb-like hands on as you pick fruits and flowers, catch bugs, dig for fossils, fish for… fish for…uh… fish for…uh…fish, and sell everything that isn’t nailed down to pay off the enormous loan your evil raccoon
landlord saddled you with at the beginning of the game, then add a small expansion to your tiny house
and start the horrible cycle of debt all over again in the cutest parable about the evils
of capitalism since Monopoly! Comrade K.K. says, “Keep it cool and seize
the means of production!” Get ready to game in real time as Animal Crossing ties everything
in the game to the real world clock with day-to-night cycles, actual holidays
and events in the game tied to the time and date, which all sounds pretty neat… until you realize you’ve run out of stuff to do
until it’s actually tomorrow in real life. What am I gonna do now, take a walk in the actual
outdoors, or something?! This is bulls#!t, Nintendo! Customize your town in your own image, decorate your home
with treasures you’ve collected and invite your friends
to explore your masterpiece. Then check out the creations from the community, from lavish mansions that will
make you feel terrible at Animal Crossing to nightmarish creations
that will haunt your nightmares. Hugghh… Experience the camaraderie of
Animal Crossing’s village community, as you get to know your host of adorable
animal neighbors and discover their unique quirks and collect your favorite villagers
to create the ideal city of furry friends, then find a character that you don’t like and force them to leave
by treating them like s#!t until you finally have your
perfect digital township, then immediately get bored
and put the game down for six months and when you finally boot it up again… get ready for a city filled with weeds
and pointed guilt trips, in a gaming experience specifically
designed to make you feel awful. This game even yells at you for trying to reset. JUST LET ME PLAY IT MY WAY, DAD! Discover Nintendo’s best attempt
to ruin one of its most beloved franchises as they move from full-on sequels to half-entries that are
missing most of the features to a mobile version that
sucks out all of the fun and charm and replaces it with animals that refuse to
be your friend unless you give them a bunch of stuff, then won’t come over until you
buy a specific set of matching furniture that you’ll have to grind for that you’ll have to grind for and then wait for, in a blatant attempt to get you to spend
your hard-earned cash on making their game fun. Seriously?
At least try to hide it a little better! So stack up those Bells and arrange that furniture in a wholesome experience that proves that
games don’t have to be challenging to be fun, they just have to fill the empty void
inside of you with tedious, busy work. Happy fruit picking! Starring… and…That Guy From Smash Bros. Animal Farm. Remember when Animal Crossing games had
entire other games inside of them? Nowadays, they’d probably make you pay $60 and
send a vial of your blood to Nintendo headquarters. Comment below on what you
want me to read in my epic voice! “I’ll tattle a tale that is terribly true.
Started out as a rumor, but suddenly grew.” “As you can see, he is a murderer.
He just killed my phone.” “YOU CHALLENGE MAKOA?!” “Zelda is a boy and you play as him.”

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