Ozzy Man Reviews: When Animals Fight Back #6

Ozzy Man Reviews: When Animals Fight Back #6

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Welcome back to another episode of when animals fight back. This elephant is well and truly sick of cars. He’s yelling “bugger off with ya carbon emissions. I am cleaning this neighbourhood up once and for all. You humans are filthy filthy filthy animals. Go. Go away. Quit sitting on ya arses and use ya legs to go places. Lazy wankers.” What is this guy up to? Aw he’s disturbed a cobra. Yeah nah how do we know the bike doesn’t belong to the cobra? Maybe it worked hard, saved its money, got motorcycle lessons and acquired a fucken license. And now this human comes along and says “you’re not allowed to be on the roads.” The cobra is like “yes I am mate. I’m a bloody taxpayer. I have as much right to the road as you do.” I don’t think he believes that a snake would pay its tax. Oh he grabs it by the head. He yanks it out of the bike. I can’t believe everyone is just standing there filming and watching. The snake is clearly being assaulted and having its shit stolen. Its older cousin manages to get revenge on the humans though by sinking its fangs into this bloke’s pristine haircut. Just let them ride their motorbikes. They’re not hurting anyone. They follow the speed limit. They give way. Aw yeah, how ya go’in? Guess what? I’m gonna fucken fly kick you mate! Crikey! That was a genuinely skillful piece of martial artistry. This video doesn’t qualify as animals fighting back, but it qualifies as animals talking back. Cameraman: “What do you want? (Sheep producing natural sound “meh…”) Cameraman: “Where do you want it?. Sheep: “Meh… Baa…” Cameraman: “How do you want it?. Sheep: “Meh… Baa…” “Excuse me, can you please not take my photo? I don’t want you to. Me face, me horn, me ears, that’s all my intellectual property. You can’t copyright me face. You’re not listening. You are cruisin’ for a bruisin’ if you don’t fucken listen to me.” Yeah, now ya regretting it. “So I went back to her place with 5 of her friends, they got naked, gave me a gobby.” “Quit bullshitting everyone!” says the bull. “Don’t you do it. Don’t touch my junk, I mean my trunk. I don’t know you. You smell funny. Seriously, I don’t let anyone in. How do you like if I touch these bouncy things? Haha. Are these testicles? What do you call them?” A guy climbing a fence near a giraffe… This has all the ingredients of a terrible idea. Aw yep, he’s gonna get on the giraffe. Of course he is. Is there nothing better he can be doing with his free time? The giraffe says “you want a ride? Here ya go. Aw you can’t handle it.” That was a long way down. Yeah nah yeah, the key danger to riding a giraffe is that when it inevitably goes wrong, which it will, it will… it’s a long fall. “Jog on. Jog on, mate. Go on, piss off.”

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