Hey Slytherin, guess what. What Guess No I found this cat. Ok I love him. He’s a good boy. Bruh, I don’t have time for this. We all have time for cats. You’re just mean. Dude, I’m not mean. That’s just my cat. And you’re holding him wrong. THIS IS YOUR CAT?? Oh my god,,,, I love him Yes, now please put him down and stop picking up random cats that you find, thank you. Wait a minute, since when is Slytherin capable of caring for another creature? I’ll gut you, worm. You’re proving my point, but ok. Cats don’t speak English and generally make obnoxious noises like you do. Cats make lots of noises though. They meow a lot and they knock things over at 3am. Wow, I guess you are a cat then Gryff. Shut the fuck up. If anything I’m a dog, bitch. Y’all are a bunch of furries. Says the furry. Huff is the furry, but go off. There’s nothing wrong with furries. Stop bullying them. The cat says stop bullying. I mean he’s right. There is nothing definitively wrong with furries. They’re cringey. Your face is cringey. Get him Huff! Kill the snake! Gryffindor, please, I’m trying not to have a migraine. Anyway, since when did you have a cat Slytherin? Since forever. We’ve never seen him before though? Um, I don’t talk about him but he’s cool. He’s a cOoL cAt. Wow, did I just make a pun? I think I need to kill myself. hHe’s the light of my life. I would die for him. I would die for you. Gross The migraine. It’s here. Don’t do that Gryffindor! I love you too much! I also love the cat! What’s his name? Um Oh boy He’s hiding something. I feel it in my left pectoral. I’m not 100% certain you know what pectoral means. Do not let that distract you from Slytherin being shady. Tell me his name. I wanna give lovies and pats. It might be,,, Might beeee- It might be Señor Whiskers. Bhahahahahahahahaha That’s great. I love that. This-this is bullying, right here. I love it. Don’t kiss my cat. Please. He needs kisses. He seems very upset right now and I wanna give him kisses. Y’know, he’s kinda big Are you fat shaming my cat? No? I’m just pointing out that cats usually aren’t that large?? That sounds like fat shaming. Leave my boy alone. I think Gryff is saying that your cat is kinda long in comparison to other cats and, therefore, also built bone structure wise a bit wider than other cats. Yeah-yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah. That. What he said. Biiig boi get biiig pats. Ok, party time is over. Give me my cat. Noooo, I wanna love my baby. Excuse you, he’s MY baby. Awww, Slytherin is soft. I’ll kill you. No you won’t. I will. Someday. Huff, give him the cat back before I cry. Ok. Just remember he needs three cups of food a day. One wet, two dry cups. And he hate belly rub; don’t give it. He don’t like it. Also he wanna cuddle on bed but like don;t touch belly. He hate it. O-ok, my son. Be free. Um, ok then. Hi baby~ Hi babby boi. I love you, honey- This is the softest I’ve ever seen Slytherin. I think I might have a heart attack. Shut. Awww!! It’s so cute!!!! I will kill you. Shut up softie. I’ll break your collarbones, Gryff. Your threats are a little lackluster when you’re holding a cat, buddy. Let it be known: I hate all of you and that Señor Whiskers is, in fact, my only friend. That is true. Rude. I’m his friend. I mean, I- Don’t reject Huffy or I’ll have to fight. Cat or not. Fine, Señor Whiskers and Huffy are my only two friends. Yeah!!!!! Friendship!!!! That means I can pet the cat right?? I guess so???? I wanna pet. Keep your mufuckin’ grubby hands away from my cinnamon apple, the light of my life, the essence of my happiness. Look at him. Look at him. That’s soft. Shut. You can be soft, Slytherin. It won’t kill you. It might. It just might. It really won’t. You don’t have to be a hardass all the time.Take a chill pill, buddy. Enjoy life. Get your wisdom and logic out of here. You’re upsetting him. No. Damn, you drive a hard bargain, nerd. This little bitch wants to go away so I’m letting him go. Huffy, you better be good. How dare you. You can’t fight Ravenclaw. He always wins. Gryff, are you still mad about monopoly? Yes, yes I am. It’s been three weeks. Let it go, dude. You cheated, motherfucker. Dude, you’re the one that stole money from the bank. I watched you do it with my own two orbs. The lies! They wound me. Shut up and get the cat back. I miss him. Huff, life isn’t just about cats. Wrong, life is only about cats. Your obsession over my baby is concerning, Huff. I love him. We know, Huff. I’m leaving. I need to go feed him. He’s upset because y’all were holding him for too long. Also I think Huff wants to steal him and I’m a little concerned. Maybe I wanna play monopoly again. Let it gooooo, Gryff. I. Want. A rematch. I’m going with Slytherin. Y’all are too much. YOU CAN’T ESCAPE DESTINY Watch me, hoe.